In My Element

One month ago today, I started teaching morning Mysore classes at Downward Dog Yoga Centre, my home studio for the past five years. I remember walking to the studio that first morning, in the dark, feeling excited, a little nervous, and hopeful—hopeful that this was the first day of a new beginning.

Before that day, I’d spent months dreaming of a morning Mysore program returning to Downward Dog.  When I first came to the studio after living and practicing in Halifax, morning Mysore had plenty of momentum, fueled by senior teachers and dedicated students.  Over time, different people moved on, either opening their own studios or venturing abroad in search of new experiences (as we tend to do in the yoga community).  Before long, mornings grew quiet until eventually there wasn’t much point in keeping the early Mysore classes on the schedule.

Like most things in life, yoga studios go through phases of ebb and flow, growth and transition. Over the past year, I’d begun to feel that it was time for morning Mysore to return, yet was apprehensive that we wouldn’t get the numbers, or that the window had closed on the possibility of reclaiming the early morning magic we’d once enjoyed.  Then at the end of the summer, Downward Dog’s co-owners, Ron Reid and Diane Bruni, agreed that it was worth a shot, and wanted me to run with the idea. I’d been waiting (I was going to say “pining” but that sounds too desperate!) for this opportunity so when the door opened I walked right through it, barely pausing to consider the consequences.  Now I’m sitting here a month later, finally taking the time to reflect on what this change in my daily routine has meant for the rest of my life.

If you’ve been involved in the Ashtanga community for any considerable length of time, you’re familiar with the concept of a daily morning practice.  Perhaps you’re a student who rises in the dark to get their practice in before work.  Or perhaps you’re an assistant or teacher who looks forward to the time you get to spend with students at this auspicious early hour, counting breaths and bending bodies.  Regardless of what brings you into whatever steamy room you call home at 6am, you know that it takes a certain degree of commitment, dedication and sacrifice to be up everyday molding yourself into poses that the majority of the still-sleeping population wouldn’t imagine possible.  There we are, day in and day out, exploring a practice that begins as a physical activity before morphing into a “not what you expected it to be” source of transformation.

Transformation, however, comes with a price! Who knew? At least it does here in the Western world, where 9-5 jobs are the reality for most worker bees, along with spouses, kids, friends, commitments, deadlines and of course the television programs that try their darndest to keep us from getting to bed on time!  My own attempt at navigating the real world when every day starts at 5am has been a lesson in the importance of sleep, nourishment and self-acceptance (So what if I’m walking to work when other people my age are walking home from the bar? I’m not boring, just dedicated!).  It has also become clear just how important it is to have routine.  Weekday evenings have become a sacred time for me to prepare for the next morning.  I make a good dinner, take a long shower, then whip up tomorrow’s smoothie. I know better than to trust my 5am brain with any decisions, so whatever I need for the next day is prepared the night before. When the morning comes, all I need to do is make sure I’m clothed before heading out the door. I arrive at the studio to open up, light candles and incense, and each day hope that people show up!  Thankfully, they always do (the momentum is returning!).  I’m sharing some pretty negligible information here, I get that—but if you’re reading this wondering if teaching early morning classes is up your alley, hopefully my experience sheds some light on what it’s really like to rise at a time when it can be necessary to set more than one alarm.

Perhaps the most telling thing I’ve learned from teaching Mysore-style classes on a regular basis is the importance of maintaining my own practice.  As someone who has always preferred to practice in the morning, it would be easy for me to envy those I now teach.  Instead, I find leading morning Mysore—at the studio that was home to Toronto’s first Mysore program—to be a privilege as I guide people through a practice that could very well set the tone for the rest of their day.  I’ve shifted my own mat time to either mid-afternoon or early evening.  Carving out that window has been essential to keeping myself sane.  I’ve found that through taking time for my own Asana practice, I stay connected to the postures.  I think of the adjustments I give others in the same poses, implementing them on my own and thinking about the receptivity of different bodies. More often than not I walk onto my own mat feeling sleepy and depleted, but walk off of it rejuvenated and inspired to take on the next day.

When I talk to others outside of the yoga community about my schedule and daily routine, they’re amazed that between teaching and practicing I’m not totally sick of yoga.  I have to admit, there are times when I’ve OD’d: when just saying the words “inhale” or “exhale” can trigger a gag-reflex; I lose the ability to differentiate left from right and confuse elbows with shoulders or knees with hips.  I think the same can be said of anyone immersed in their speciality—we become all-encompassed in the intricacies of our work, often losing sight of the world beyond the bubble.

So it’s with the importance of balance in mind that I venture into Month #2. Going forward, I endeavour to remain connected to the world outside the yoga studio, to exercise the different parts of my brain and to never stop thinking and questioning, despite the extent to which routine governs my life.  Teaching, more than anything else, is the best learning experience.  When I look back on these preliminary days years from now, I imagine the words “If you only knew then what you know now” will come up more than once. For the journey toward that time, I am grateful.

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Life in the Bubble

September 13, 2011 in New Beginnings

I can’t believe how fast the last 3 months have gone by.  At the time of my last entry, I was looking forward to summer on Lake of Bays, toying with the idea of moving out of my parents’ place where I’d been living since arriving home from India, and enjoying a regular smattering of classes and private clients in the city.

Today, I’m sitting on a plane, bound for Halifax.  Labour Day has passed, marking the end of the most successful summer Lake of Bays Yoga has seen to date.  For the next week, I’ll leave behind the condo I bought in July, and enjoy the company of old friends, some of whom I haven’t seen since graduating with my MA from Dalhousie in 2007.  I’ll use this vacation as a time to get grounded before I embark on what just may be the busiest fall I’ve encountered in a long time, at least since my days of being a student.

Some exciting things are on the horizon.  At the end of September, I’ll begin teaching a new morning Mysore program at Downward Dog Yoga Centre.  After months petitioning the owners of the studio, my teachers, to bring the morning program back onto the schedule, we’re on the same page.  The opportunity to lead the program and hopefully build it into something that will bring together other excellent instructors and dedicated students is going to be worth the 6am start five days a week.  I’ll continue to lead my other weekly classes and work with new and existing private clients, building a schedule that would have seemed unimaginable to me three years ago when I began teaching yoga full time.

Despite the heavy workload, I know the next few months will be marked by the feeling of  impoverishment; as I’ve heard on numerous occasions since July 25 when my condo closed, there’s nothing like the “I’m broke” feeling one encounters after purchasing a first home.  As ready as I felt to take this step toward being an actual grown-up, it still feels like a pretty big shift. Not only do I suddenly own appliances, one of which attempted to break down yesterday, I’ve entered into what could very well turn out to be the longest relationship I’ve been in to date…with my bank.  Though despite the nerves, the responsibility, and that little voice asking “What the hell was I thinking?” from deep within, I can’t deny the sense of accomplishment that came from buying my first home.  I made it through the bidding wars—often against couples wielding at least twice my income—to land a condo in my dream location, secured a mortgage, moved during the summer when I’m only in the city 72 hours a week, and topped it off with some new furniture and a shiny flatscreen TV assembled and installed without a man in sight.  I think that last bit may have been the most fun.

It seems like every week of the past few months has brought with it more momentum. Now with so many new beginnings to look forward to, I was torn about leaving “my city” this week after being away from TO for so much of the summer.  I’ve missed the buzz, the restaurants, the cafés, and of course the gift of having a place to practice with amazing teachers.  But when I booked the trip, which will take me to Halifax for the next 3 days, and then off to Ottawa for the first time this weekend, my intention was to break free of the bubble.  I suppose it can happen anywhere, but I find Toronto to be particularly consuming when it comes to getting trapped in routine, where people forget about the outside world because we Hogtowners are so busy, so important…how could we ever leave? Plus…this is the one week of the year when every celeb known to the Western world is galavanting around my very own neighbourhood!

But alas, here I sit, enjoying my cookies and tea while flying over Maine.  I know getting out is a good thing.  I can tell my brain and my body are ready for this break. I’m looking forward to staying with my first yoga teacher, Jody Manley, comparing Nancy stories and reminiscing about the old days in the shed.  I’ll soak up as much time with old friends as I possibly can, reminding myself that Halifax, a city I called home for five years, will probably always be a place where I can return and see familiar faces.  Along with enjoying a rush-free daily yoga practice, I intend to keep writing.  Over the summer, I couldn’t make the time or find the energy to do anything but rest when I wasn’t teaching or practicing.  As someone who has always reveled in words and language, it feels like I shut down a part of myself when I stop putting ideas on paper.

In a few minutes time, the seat-belt light will go on, the buzz of the landing gear lowering will echo through the cabin, and the view out the window will bring YHZ into view. I’ll step off the plane, immediately notice the lack of humidity and try not to miss the heat of southern Ontario. I’ll find my way into the city where, without the urgent pace that seems to characterize Toronto life, even heart rates slow down.  I’m ready to let that happen.  Let the vacation begin…

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Last night I was watching television with my dad.  He flipped through the channels, eventually pausing on CNN to catch what Anderson Cooper had to say about the state of the world these days.  The lead story addressed Republican senator Michele Bachmann, and her habit of dragging Planned Parenthood’s name through the mud.  If you look up this gem of a Presidential candidate on YouTube, you will find numerous examples where she calls out Planned Parenthood for their role in “Big Abortion”, adding to the never-ending right-wing attack on family planning services.

True to form, AC set the facts straight, pointing out how Planned Parenthood is constantly misrepresented – in the media, as well as in the US House of Representatives – solely as abortion providers, and rarely recognized for the health care they provide to youth, women and underprivileged members of society.

While completing my undergraduate degree in Halifax, I volunteered with the Planned Parenthood Metro Clinic, today known as the Halifax Sexual Health Centre.  The notable name change speaks to the evolution of services offered through Planned Parenthood clinics.  This shift was borne at a national level in 2005, when the Planned Parenthood Federation of Canada became the Canadian Federation for Sexual Health.

In 2008, after moving back to Toronto, I joined the Board of Directors at Planned Parenthood Toronto, which unlike most other Canadian clinics under the CFSH umbrella, had chosen to keep the Planned Parenthood designation in their name.  Both in Halifax, as a volunteer, and in Toronto, as a Board member, it became clear just how few people actually understand what it is that Planned Parenthood does in Canada.  When I told friends and family about my involvement and commitment to this organization, describing the services and community programming they provide, it was clear just how few people knew that Planned Parenthood has anything to do with sexual health beyond unplanned pregnancy.

As someone under the age of 29, I’m able to go to Planned Parenthood Toronto as a client and receive general health services.  This means I can make one of the physicians there my family doctor, and visit the clinic for any range of services, including annual exams and general health concerns.  The scope of services available at this community health centre is unparalleled, and ranges from community outreach programs geared toward LGBTQ youth, men’s sexual health, mental health, pre- and post-natal care and birth control education.  When girlfriends of mine would lament about the cost of birth control prescriptions, and I would recommend they go to Planned Parenthood where birth control can cost as little as five dollars a month, they would be shocked and relieved!  Until then, it had never occurred to them to go to Planned Parenthood, since that’s where people went who needed abortions.

So, if Canadians are confused about what Planned Parenthood is all about, I can only begin to imagine – and shudder at the thought of – what the Planned Parenthood Federation of America is up against in the United States.  The best remedy for ignorance is to get properly informed, and thankfully there are public figures like Anderson Cooper who are prepared to do this on prime time TV.  But what’s still devastating and detrimental is that there is a woman out there who is attacking an organization dedicated to WOMEN’S health, and using misinformation as a platform for her own political gain.

While it is doubtful that Michele Bachmann will even come close to receiving a nomination for the Presidential ballot, we all remember what a joy it was to watch Sarah Palin rise to the top of the Republican empire.  So this brings me to my final thought…do you think these crazy ladies have ever stepped on a yoga mat? I’m going out on a limb here to say that the idea of removing their pointy-toe pumps and going barefoot would be enough to keep them away from any yoga studio.  But I still like to dream of what it would be like in a world where politicians stand on their heads and see the world from a whole new perspective – imagine that!

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My…sore?

March 30, 2011

My sore? You sore? Eye-sore? No sore… The term “Mysore”, when used to reference a type of yoga, comes from the name of an actual place – Mysore, India, where Sri K. Pattabhi Jois began teaching Ashtanga yoga to Westerners over 30 years ago.  Today, devoted Ashtangis consider Mysore, India to be their “Mecca”, coming [...]

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Dog Days Are Over

March 14, 2011

Whew!  Ten days since my last post…not good.  But here are my excuses for having been away from the keyboard: 1. I started driving a scooter in Goa and got addicted to the freedom of the open road! 2. I went for my first Watsu treatment at WatsuGoa (amazing…do check out this fantastic form of [...]

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Life in the Slow Lane

March 3, 2011

With nearly a full week with Rolf and Marci now under my belt, I’m beginning to get the hang of things here in Candolim.  After leaving behind everything I’d gotten accustomed to over the past month at Purple Valley, my first couple of days here were a little lonely.  I may only be a 20-minute [...]

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The Last Leg

March 1, 2011

I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon the last little while, as things came to a close at Purple Valley and I relocated to Candolim to practice with Rolf and Marci at Yoga Bones.  But I’m back now, and while my Goa brain is lying in the sun, refusing to think – let alone type – [...]

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